I manifest… The perfect man (Guy Carmichael) falling in love with me.

I manifest… Having a gorgeous flat (preferably central and cheap, or ideally free, with no rats).

I manifest… Getting a better job (more money, people bringing me coffee rather than the other way round, no one getting my name wrong, etc.).

I manifest… Respect and admiration from friends, colleagues, and family (preferably with high levels of envy, veneration of my social media output, and general sense of shame for having doubted me).

I manifest… A perfect wedding (everyone whose wedding I’ve had to sit through can endure mine, commenting on how beautiful a bride I am).

I manifest… Wiping that smug smile off Matthew Lloyd’s face.

Signed ………Alice Carver…………

Date …………25th December……..