At the edge of the city, Admiral Fontoon tends the lighthouse at Wossafocken Point and dreams of being a famous poet. His odds are poor, as he spends far more time lost in thoughts about exactly how big Jupiter must be than writing actual poetry. He is also constantly undermined by the Fontoon Wrecking Company - a secret organisation dedicated entirely to his personal humiliation. Nevertheless his dream comes true when a top spotter of poetic dispositions helps him to become an enormously influential media person. Fontoon's inspiring words begin to solve the world's biggest problems, until his weirdest and most disgusting personal idiosyncrasy is publicly exposed. AUTHOR: John Schoneboom is a New Yorker who now lives in Newcastle Upon Tyne. He has studied international affairs, played the funky bass guitar, sold ice cream from a truck, sneaked into numerous venues, and foiled a purse snatching. His play 'Dreams of Jimmy Bannon' won the Artists Fellowship Award from the Massachusetts Cultural Council. 'Fontoon' is his first novel. SELLING POINTS: 'Fontoon' is an archetypal Dedalus novel: absurdly funny, erudite, grotesquely surreal, and totally unique.