When do you become an adult? What does it mean to grow up? And what are the experiences that propel us forward - or keep us stuck?


These are the questions that journalist Moya Sarner sets out to answer as she begins training as a psychotherapist. But as she delves further into her own mind and others', she soon realises that growing up is far from the linear process we imagine it to be. So begins a journey of discovery into what growing up really involves, and how we do it again and again throughout our lives.

From early adulthood through to old age, When I Grow Up examines each life stage, interrogating the traditional markers of adulthood and finding new ones. Through conversations with grown-ups from all walks of life, and through her own experiences and training, Sarner probes deep into our psyches to discover how we grow and develop, and what we need to thrive throughout our lives.


'Moya Sarner has written a book about growing up which also happens to be a book about being alive- about managing pain and loss, about uncertainty and change, about humility and courage, about finding meaning and acceptance. She is asking all the right questions, in our uncertain times, and her search for answers is inspiring. Writing that is full of insight and depth, and always feels refreshing. This book is invigorating and thought-provoking, rigorous, elegant, and compassionate. It is about thinking, healing, and connecting. We need more like it.'
-Tom Hiddleston

'Searching and consoling, When I Grow Up interrogates the beliefs we hold about life's stages, and the labels we yearn for and resist. It is a generous, illuminating exploration of what it means to grow up, why we want to, and how to know when you've done it.'
-Nell Stevens, author of Bleaker House

'A deeply compassionate book that made me think differently about not only what it means to be an adult but also what it means to be a human being.'
-Imogen West-Knights