Combining the nostalgic writing of Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died with the urgency of Emily Ratajkowski's My Body, this gripping memoir from Hugh Hefner's widow lays bare the shocking reality of life in the Playboy mansion.

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

'A fascinating demythologising of the Playboy brand and Hefner himself' - Pandora Sykes

'A raw, honest unveiling of the misogyny and darkness of the Playboy Mansion. . . I almost feel compelled to send a copy to every young woman who still believes the legacy of Playboy holds some glamour or promise' - Ellie Flynn

One of Stylist's 'best non-fiction for 2024'

One of the Independent's 2024 'must-reads'

One of The Sunday Times 'most exciting memoirs' for 2024


'I was 21 years old when I found myself on the front stoop of the Playboy Mansion. I want to tell the real story of my time there - the good and the bad, the dark and the light.'

In 2008 the Playboy mansion became Crystal Harris's sanctuary - a shimmering vestige of opportunity. Within months she had ascended its hierarchy to become Hugh Hefner's top girlfriend. But her new home came at a cost. Forced to follow strict rules that governed everything from her appearance to behaviour, she began to lose her identity. By the time she married Hef in 2012, the mansion had become her prison.

Having made a promise to Only Say Good Things, for years Crystal suppressed the truth of what really happened behind the mansion's closed doors. Now, in this raw and honest memoir, she's finally ready to expose it all.

Laying bare the devastating impact that a culture of relentless objectification and misogyny had on her health, Crystal's extraordinary story carries powerful lessons that are relevant to us all.