'A beautiful blend of storytelling, science and practical tools. Smith uses her expertise to introduce true boundary setting tools to build (and rebuild) our relationships to others and ourselves.' Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play

When's the last time you felt as composed as you portray to your boss, family and friends? If there's a discord between the two, you're not alone. Humans are master pretenders - we often seem stronger, calmer and more mature than we really are, while the truth is we're full of doubts and self-criticism that pushes us to borrow reassurance from friends, beliefs from strangers on the internet, or attention that, in the moment, makes us feel successful, but leaves us totally hollow and burnt out.

Dr. Smith uses examples from her own life and the lives of her therapy patients to explain how we borrow confidence, calmness and beliefs from our relationships and offers solutions and steps for building a life with our own best-thinking.

She also unpacks the science of our social nature, explaining why we're so focused on others and teaching us how to interrupt anxious relationship patterns. If a reader is unsure if the career path they're on is one they want to stay on, Dr. Smith will show them how to redefine what a successful career means to them. If they only feel steady when overfunctioning for others, she'll help them learn how to let others be responsible for themselves.

By the end of the book, readers will have learnt to stop people-pleasing and be armed with a new set of principles and a new sense of self, ready to stand strong in the face of any challenge.