'I don't know you at all. I wouldn't recognise you from a hole in the ground. If I was telling this story to some friends, then they would already know Kiffo and they would know me and they would know the school and everything. I'd just be able to get straight into what happened when a new English teacher, the Pitbull, slobbered and snarled her way into our class. But you don't know anything. No offence.' Part quirky journal, part detective fiction, this wild and witty novel is a laugh-out-loud comedy about two unlikely friends who are drawn into a dramatic series of events through their mutual mistrust of their new English teacher. Recommended for children 12 years and over. LANGUAGE MAY OFFEND