Being the Adult They Need

What if quality isn’t just what we do, but who children experience us to be? Who are we becoming for the children who need us most?

Across education and care we measure outcomes, incidents, attendance, compliance and stability. These things matter, but children experience something else. They experience the adults who remain calm when they cannot. The adults who stay close when they push everyone away. The adults who become safe enough to borrow until children can believe in themselves again.

This book explores how our everyday interactions shape healing, trust and belonging. Advocating for connection over control, it shows how shifts in mindset, practice and culture – embracing uncertainty and learning from mistakes – can foster sustainable, relational practices. Drawing on the author’s journey across mainstream education, specialist provision, and residential childcare, the book delves into pertinent topics such as early intervention, protective boundaries and moments of crisis and, through relatable real-world examples and honest reflections, challenges traditional behaviourist approaches and show how to create safer, more attuned environments.

Being the Adult They Need supports individual reflection, team discussions, and professional development. It is essential reading for primary and secondary teachers, SENCOs and inclusion leads, as well as social care professionals and residential childcare practitioners seeking to deepen their understanding of trauma-informed practice.