Numb

Born into the chaos of the Lebanese civil war, Mark H. Awad spent his childhood surrounded by bombings, destruction, fear, and survival. Basements became shelters, streets became battlefields, and death became part of everyday life long before he was old enough to understand what childhood was supposed to feel like. Growing up in a world shaped by war forced him to mature early, adapt quickly, and develop a mindset built on survival, resilience, and emotional control.
But while the war eventually ended around him, its psychological impact never fully disappeared.
NUMB is a deeply personal memoir that explores what happens when a child grows up in an environment where fear becomes normal, survival replaces innocence, and emotional numbness becomes a way of coping with reality. Through raw memories and honest reflection, Mark takes readers inside the emotional and psychological effects of war, loss, hardship, and the long process of rebuilding a life afterward.
As the story unfolds, the book transitions beyond survival and into the pursuit of freedom, independence, and meaning. After immigrating to the United States, Mark enters the business world, eventually transitioning into real-estate investment and development. What begins as a story about war slowly evolves into a larger reflection on ambition, discipline, fear, entrepreneurship, risk-taking, and the invisible systems that shape people's lives.
Throughout the book, Mark questions many of the ideas society teaches about success, comfort, security, and happiness. He reflects on how hardship can either break a person or create unusual strength, clarity, and determination. He also examines the emotional cost of survival itself—the numbness, distance, and internal struggles that often remain hidden behind outward achievement.
Blending memoir, philosophy, psychology, survival, and entrepreneurship, NUMB is more than a story about war. It is a reflection on human resilience, emotional survival, and the search for identity and purpose in a world where many people unknowingly live trapped by fear, routine, and limitation.
This is a story about surviving destruction without losing the ability to build. About carrying trauma while still pursuing freedom. And about trying to understand what it truly means to feel alive after spending years simply trying to survive.