Acerbic, wisecracking and hilarious, this is the definitive essay collection from New York legend and satirist, Fran Lebowitz, star of Martin Scorsese's hit Netflix series, Pretend It's a City.

'The gold standard for intelligence, efficiency and humour. Now and forever' DAVID SEDARIS

'She's inexhaustible - her personality, her knowledge, her brilliance, most of all her humour' MARTIN SCORSESE

'The rare example of a legend living up to her own mythology. She really is THAT funny' HADLEY FREEMAN

Lebowitz turns her trademark caustic wit to the vicissitudes of life - from children ('rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money') to landlords ('it is the solemn duty of every landlord to maintain an adequate supply of roaches'). And her attitude to work is the perfect antidote to our exhausting culture of self-betterment ('3.40pm. I consider getting out of bed. I reject the notion as being unduly vigorous. I read and smoke a bit more').

'Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things and small people talk about wine'

'Think before you speak. Read before you think'

'All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable'

'There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death'

'The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting'