“OF COURSE IT’S LUCKY, FINDING A PICKLE IS ALWAYS GOOD LUCK Some families put a pickle on their tree on Christmas Eve, and the child who finds it first the next morning gets a year of luck. While some say the Germans came up with this tradition, people in Germany have never heard of it.

Let’s not let the implausibility of a tradition prevent us from having fun with it. Our plastic Lucky Yodelling Christmas Pickle Ornament is not a only sanitary alternative to an actual pickle, it is also equipped with a motion detector that goes off whenever someone gets within about three feet of it. You can set up the ornament near the presents to act as an alarm when someone snoops.

Buy a bunch of them and you’ll have a chorus of yodels whenever someone walks past your tree. Now that’s what we call a lucky Christmas. Batteries included. Pickle has an on/off switch. Endorsed by Santa Pickle.”